Face the Candle to the Wind
Love is pure fire. It will not burn you, it only burns what you are not.
People who try to understand my words with their intellects are bound to be burned inside. They cannot relax. They are too serious. They have so many minds within their heads and I make great fires out of them — I take so much fun in doing it.
But there are some people who read my words with their hearts — they already have less mind. Less tense, less serious. They can feel what I say and I can only make small fires upon them, some bonfires — enough to keep them warm in this cold world. By and by, their minds will be losing grip and they will detach from their minds to their consciousness — it’s time for you to ignite yourself. Be your own fire. Be your own love.
When you have truly loved yourself, you are bound to forget the world — you will forget me. There will be no man named Satria Anandita in your consciousness. No Buddha, no Christ, no God, nobody — it will be just plain emptiness. A silent sky. You will even forget the word “emptiness”, the word “silence”. You will have the emptiness and silence itself instead of the words. Only then we’ll meet again because we’ll live in the same world. A world that has no names, no ends, no boundaries. A world beyond the words. A world where you are me.
You will be my friend because you will know friendliness instead of friendship. You will be my lover because you will know lovingness instead of relationship. We will forget about communication because we already melt in communion. We are in love. We are the same fire. Sharing lights to the world so that its beauty doesn’t remain in the dark.
If people understand this, they will not get attached to their minds — you are not your mind. You are not what you think you are. You are not an idea!
Your mind is false. That’s why we have falsification principle in science: old theories being falsified and replaced with the new ones. Soon the new ones get older and they get replaced with the newer. Science keeps changing because it has to adapt to reality. Otherwise, it will be out of date. It will be like religions.
Religions are out of date unless they admit that God is nothing. They have to admit that God has no names, no laws, no forms, no personalities, nothing whatsoever. Otherwise, their so-called God is still a thing. It may be a great thing, everything, but it doesn’t matter — it is still a thing!
People are not supposed to love things, let alone worshiping them. People are supposed to love people. They are supposed to love each other. But first of all, they have to love themselves. Otherwise, they cannot truly love each other. Their so-called love will be phony.
Many couples claim to love each other. But they treat their beloveds like things. They possess each other, manipulate each other, torture each other, and in the end: betray each other.
My parents are one of those couples. Outside, they may seem like a harmonious couple. They discuss things together, take a walk together, tease each other, and so on — they even still sleep together. Many people who have seen them are keen to learn much about family and marriage. They just haven’t met the truth.
When I was a child, my parents used to have constant fights like other couples. My dad is a strong man, but his intellect is no match for my mom. They argued a lot back then and my mom would always win the argument. Her only disadvantage was that she’s weak and helpless.
I remember one night, after their routine fight, my mom asked my opinion if they get a divorce. I was six years old. I had no answers. I asked her why and she said she could no longer stand my father. She had a breakdown.
Years later, she eventually managed to keep standing tall. Not really tall, but enough to hold her ground. When I got home two years ago, the situation had changed a lot. They already got bored of fighting. They already got bored of each other. Each of them now has secret affairs with someone else. They keep secret desires towards other persons and they still pretend to love each other. They are hypocrites. Their so-called love is phony.
I sometimes wished that they would get divorced rather than keep betraying each other. But then it seemed that a divorce will not solve the real problem. The real problem is inside their minds, but they are never aware of it. So I started burning them.
It’s been a while since my parents really talked to me. They cannot communicate with me because they still live in their minds. People cannot live close to me and keep their minds happy. I myself cannot do anything about it. Once you ignite yourself, your words and actions are naturally burning minds close to you. You will be just yourself: a pure fire.
Since my detachment one month ago, I no longer believe in communication. Communication is cunning, and my parents have been cunning to each other all the time. They are cunning to each other, they are cunning to their children. They are egoists who sometimes play dropping their egos to pretend selflessness. They are merely actors. They never take off their masks and show their original faces. Their so-called ethics and moral codes are bad jokes. Meant to be burned to the ground.
People may say that I’m disrespectful, but then it is a crime to let two persons who gave me life living their lies to the end of life. No matter how convenient their lies right now, those are still lies!
Life is not a lie. Life is better than the best lies. And life is best when we don’t lie.
We were never born to be liars. It is the mind that keeps lying. It always holds you from saying the truth. It always makes you hesitated. It makes you stupid. It gives you diplomacy instead of honesty. It’s always cunning. You have to be aware of it. Otherwise, you cannot detach from it.