Real Love

Somebody came by my blog and said s(he) couldn’t find real love. That real love doesn’t exist, and there’s no real love.

Real love doesn’t exist — it never does. To find it, you must not exist too. There is no you in real love, there is no I. There is only love, the real love.

That’s why some people say that love requires sacrifice. You must sacrifice yourself, your ego, to be in love. You must be selfless, and that is true.

But people nowadays know nothing about selflessness because they know nothing about themselves. Psychology has given them self-images — not the self itself — so much that people’s real selves get buried under those images. Every philosophy, every religion has created their own doctrines about human being, and none of them is true. Our humanity today is lost, sunk beneath millions of layers of rubbish created by psychology, philosophy, and religion.

To know themselves, and discover their real selves, people must go beyond psychology, philosophy, and religion. Real humanity never exists inside psychology, neither it exists inside philosophy and religion. People must abandon their knowledge, their own beliefs, and hold on to nothing along the journey. Nothing whatsoever.

This doesn’t mean that people should practice asceticism.

Asceticism is evil, because it makes people more selfish than ever through sufferings. People fast, they meditate, renouncing the world — often for a long time — out of the hope that they will be holier and greater than other men. That they will be more blessed by God, more eligible to enter the heaven, to be enlightened, et cetera. The more harsh and cruel people fast, the longer they pray and meditate, the more selfish they become. Their egos just keep getting bigger and bigger, makes it difficult for them to be selfless. To find real love.

Selflessness doesn’t equal sufferings — it never does. Real meditation never happens on top of highest mountains or in seclusion, but in daily life, where you meet many people and pass through them without any inconvenience. People may get disturbed of what you say, or what you do, but to them, you are unshakable. Nothing can disturb you, nothing can change you. You are the change itself. You are free to change anytime you need, without fear of being called inconsistent. Because a man who is a hundred percent consistent is dead.

Selflessness even knows no sufferings — no sufferings at all. Nir-vana. No desires. Because every suffering is merely the fruit of your own desire. Your desire towards people, towards money, towards God, towards yourself. You may have called it love all this time, but it’s merely desire. Real love never brings sufferings into life — it brings death for every suffering you know.